It makes me sad to see how we treat and stereotype women. We even stereotype women who are trying to remove these stereotypes. You know what makes makes me more sad – women stereotyping women.
As it turns out, it is not enough to be born as a women with women body parts. Nope. They have to behave like a woman, in a way which everyone else expects them to. This expectation is different in different countries though, or even different places within a country. The part of India where I come from, a women shouldn’t smile much, as they say. If she is smiling at something and accidentally looked at a guy at the same time, she is giving him the signal. Well, news for us guys, it’s the wrong interpretation of the signal. Maybe some alien came down on earth and sent you a signal that you are a freaking pervert, or a creep, or an asshole, or whatever the hell you turn out to be in life, but it was definitely not the signal you interpreted. This smile was just a basic example of how a women is supposed to behave in society. They shouldn’t smile too much, they shouldn’t be out too late, they shouldn’t be too friendly with people and the list goes on.
It’s quite different in Australia. The situation is somewhat better here, but not the best. They can smile, they can be friendly, they can be confident, but if they do all these things to a proportion where they are not intimidated by men, or even worse, the men are intimidated by them, then they are labelled. I want to share a small example here to better understand the situation. There is a girl in my office who I’m going to call Lauren for privacy reasons. Now as far as I know her, you put the cheerfulness, passion for fun, popularity, confidence, awesomeness of 20 people together and you have yourselves a Lauren. Everyone loves her and she is a star. She is just one hell of a person. She’s been in the company for 5-6 years so that makes her one of the oldest (not in age) and most connected employees as well. Nothing wrong in any of the above things according to me. But sometimes when when we are at pubs or lunches, I’ve heard some people say that Lauren’s not a ‘girl’ girl. This annoys me to so many levels that I can’t even explain. I know some people might think this is not a big deal, but I believe it represents the way we still stereotype and label women. Even in an advanced country like Australia, where we have education, freedom and everything we need for a so called civil society, people think like this. It is important to note that this comment came from a literate person who has a Bachelor degree. But that’s where literacy and education part ways, don’t they?
Just because a woman is too confident to be intimidated by men, or accept a men’s Alpha male status, or be cheerful that everyone loves her or has the power to not let other people say shit directly to her face, makes her not a ‘girl’ girl. It is depressing to see that’s how a woman can even feel about other women. We put all these labels on everything and it takes to our doom, nowhere else.
We have all seen men who can’t let a girl win in a game, men who will use all their power to open a bottle of jar to prove their manhood, who will feel like dying if a woman is able to do something they can’t do. I don’t know much about science, but people say all the time that men are naturally physically stronger than women. And where does this leaves women? Oh yeah, they have mental strength. Is that really true? I totally believe women are mentally really strong, but so they are physically. I have seen women at my gym who can make a guy faint with one punch, who can also take a punch like a goddam martial artist.
The problem is how what we were taught when we were growing up. The problem is that when we are kids, women get dolls and men get G.I. Joes or monster trucks. And if girls play with monster trucks, well that’s not ladylike now is it? The problem is we send most girls for self-defence and only some of them can make their way to kick boxing. The fucking problem is, we have manipulated their minds since it started grasping things that they are not as strong as their male counterparts. Yes, I believe that’s the root of the issue. Have you ever seen a person getting treatment for an addiction and actually getting treated even though he didn’t believe that he could be treated? No, and you never will. We have made women addicts of weakness, being ‘girly’ and self defence. Ask yourselves pioneers of self defence, how has it worked out for you till now? I know we have exceptions, but not enough. We need less self-defence more attackers. We need more Laurens. We need more people, both men and women, to say that those Laurens are ‘girl’ girls. Anyone who was born a women, is a women no matter how strong she is, how short her hair, how many guys or girls she’s fucked. No she’s not a tom-boy, not a manly women, not a slut. She is a woman who is beautiful either she has a 16 bicep or a 36 cup, or both.
This was just a minute piece of what women face and what we need to change our mentality about. Those looking for a wider perspective, go ask yourselves these questions. Although this journey towards equality is a long one and certain sections of both genders are a hindrance to it, we have small portion who is in the right direction. I’m glad we are on a path to turn this small portion into a bigger one.