Don’t know how to say this out loud,
Just want to be a part of that crowd.
When you couldn’t hear once, friend, you threw the speaker out,
Just imagine how much I am always stressed out.
I know it shouldn’t be a hurdle in my way to succeed,
How can the externals operate when the internals bleed.
I want to listen every time and not say sorry,
Not just once, each time I wanta feel the glory.
I see people that have far worse illness
And have succeeded in life,
I feel motivated by them sometimes
Sometimes I feel wounded by a steel knife.
To everyone else this is not big a deal
But I can’t eat peacefully even one meal,
Cause every moment from me that life does steal
I can do nothing but hide and conceal.
Sadness shouldn’t be too strong for a thing like this,
Even though it’s a small body part, but it, I DO miss.
When I go out with friends or to a bar with a girl
To a crowded area or at publisher lunches,
I put on a smile and they think I’m happy
But I feel like hit by a thousand punches.
I think of going away from everything
And start a life on my own,
I did that when I came to Australia
Believe me it nearly had my mind blown.
Maybe someday I’ll stop running
From the world and from myself,
That’d be the happiest day
As I’ll get rid of my cry-self.
I’ll muster all the strength and advance like a tiger,
I’ll do what I need to live in peace, and hold my spirits tighter.