The Partial

Don’t know how to say this out loud,

Just want to be a part of that crowd.

 

When you couldn’t hear once, friend, you threw the speaker out,

Just imagine how much I am always stressed out.

 

I know it shouldn’t be a hurdle in my way to succeed,

How can the externals operate when the internals bleed.

 

I want to listen every time and not say sorry,

Not just once, each time I wanta feel the glory.

 

I see people that have far worse illness

And have succeeded in life,

I feel motivated by them sometimes

Sometimes I feel wounded by a steel knife.

 

To everyone else this is not big a deal

But I can’t eat peacefully even one meal,

Cause every moment from me that life does steal

I can do nothing but hide and conceal.

 

Sadness shouldn’t be too strong for a thing like this,

Even though it’s a small body part, but it, I DO miss.

 

When I go out with friends or to a bar with a girl

To a crowded area or at publisher lunches,

I put on a smile and they think I’m happy

But I feel like hit by a thousand punches.

 

I think of going away from everything

And start a life on my own,

I did that when I came to Australia

Believe me it nearly had my mind blown.

 

Maybe someday I’ll stop running

From the world and from myself,

That’d be the happiest day

As I’ll get rid of my cry-self.

 

I’ll muster all the strength and advance like a tiger,

I’ll do what I need to live in peace, and hold my spirits tighter.

 

She’s Not a ‘Girl’ Girl

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